Red and Green Pears painting by artist DJ Geribo

In the past, when I sent a check or a gift to someone whether it was for a birthday, a wedding, or a baby shower I couldn’t attend, I would receive, sometimes months later but still, a thank you card. Common courtesy, I believe.

But recently I sent two gifts to two people for very different reasons. One was for a new baby. The other was just a gift because I wanted to send one. Ok, you’re saying, when you send a gift to someone, for no reason, are they obligated to send a thank you? Is it a requirement? I think so, I would. Ok, so people should do things the way “I” think they should? By “my” rules? Again, common courtesy.

Is entitlement part of it? Maybe. It seems as if we’ve bred a generation of people who just believe they deserve whatever is given to them – not that they need to give thanks for it but just that they will receive it and you should thank them for taking it. Although one of the people I sent a gift to was a man. Do we ever expect to receive a thank-you card from a man? I know my sister taught her son to send thank-you cards, to no avail. Perhaps they just don’t care if they receive gifts, so sending a thank-you for something they don’t care about doesn’t make sense to them. Her daughter always sends thank-you cards.

It is all about having expectations. If I send a gift and expect to receive a thank-you card, I could be greatly disappointed. Maybe I could just stop sending gifts. I wonder if anyone would notice. My niece might.

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